How to Live by Your Highest Values and Break Free from Fear and Procrastination
How to Live by Your Highest Values and Break Free from Fear and Procrastination
In January this year, I wrote about values and judgement, inspired in part by the dramas unfolding in the world of cricket. More recently, I attended a seminar by Dr. John DeMartini titled Your Thoughts Determine Your Destiny, where he dived deeply into the concept of values. This really hit home, so I felt inspired to explore it further—especially the importance of learning to live by your highest values.
Why Living by Your Highest Values Changes Everything
Dr. DeMartini teaches that your highest values shape your life. When you align your daily actions with your highest values, you naturally build self-worth, increase motivation, and feel more fulfilled. In contrast, when you live according to your lower values, you often fall into patterns of procrastination, distraction, and even addiction. This misalignment leads to feelings of emptiness and the need for instant gratification—whether that’s food, shopping, alcohol, or something else.
In other words, when you’re not living by your highest values, you’re not really living in alignment with yourself—and your actions reflect that.
Objectivity vs. Subjectivity: How Values Shape Perception
Another insight from Dr. DeMartini’s seminar was how living in alignment with your highest values also increases objectivity. You’re better able to weigh the pros and cons of life’s challenges, and you’re more willing to embrace them because you know they’re part of your bigger purpose. On the other hand, when you live by your lower values, your thinking becomes more subjective—you may romanticise people or situations, overlook red flags, and make decisions from emotion rather than clarity.
Dr. DeMartini gave the perfect example: the infatuation stage of a relationship. At that stage, your brain rationalises everything the other person does—no matter how alarming. Sound familiar?
Why Challenges Are Essential to Growth
Here’s the truth: life isn’t just meant to be sunshine and rainbows. It’s meant to challenge you. That’s how you grow. If you constantly avoid discomfort or change, you miss out on discovering how resilient and powerful you really are.
For a long time, one of my personal challenges was speaking publicly about my work. I used to fear that people would think I was odd or self-important. But I’ve come to see that if I don’t own my voice and my message, then I’m not truly living my purpose—and I’m certainly not living by my highest values.
The more I align with who I really am, the less resentment I feel. The more authentic I become, the better my life flows. And I’ve realised that the fear of being misunderstood is far less significant than the fulfillment that comes from being true to myself.
Fear Keeps You from Your True Path
Fear is often the biggest block between us and our highest potential. It keeps us looping in safe but unsatisfying patterns. But when you understand your highest values, you can start making decisions from that place—decisions that empower you instead of limit you.
But first, you need to know what your highest values are.
Dr. DeMartini offers a free 13-step process to help you identify them. It’s different from the usual corporate values exercise. This one looks at how you currently spend your time and energy—because that’s the best indicator of what you truly value, even if it’s not what you think you value.
Try the exercise here: https://drdemartini.com/values
Final Thoughts
If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this, it’s this: Don’t let fear stop you from living by your highest values. Life is richer, more meaningful, and more aligned when you do.
Challenges are part of the journey. They’re here to help you evolve—not to hold you back. So next time fear tries to keep you small, ask yourself: Is this decision aligned with my highest values?
If it’s not, then maybe it’s time for a different choice.